The last few years I have been in this strange off and on kick of trying to be a crunchy mom…. only to find myself then wanting to do a 180 turn to wanting to be the pleasing esthetic mom who may or may not have bought a bottle of pink watermelon scented cleaner because well it’s pink and because I have 5 kids, a dog and a cat and sports shoes stink… who then also may or may not have felt guilty for buying said bottle of pink cleaner and it now sits untouched collecting dust in a cabinet.

What…is… my…problem???

Maybe it’s a touch of ADHD paired with the practical aspect of life but it is an area of my life I am struggling to take a firm stand on.  Or as a therapist I used to see put it picking and sticking.

Honestly I would love to pick and stick 

Last summer I was on a great path forward.  To be practical I wasnt throwing away everything I was strategic and as things needed to be replaced I was replaing with the better option…like my daughter’s cute pink sneakers with the natural material vs whatever foam stuff the old ones were. Buying my older daughter a natural comforter for a birthday gift .

Then que life and I feel off a little.

My kids started new private schools this school year praise God. I will say of all of the changes these kids could have had this year this made the most meaningful impact especially for my older two school aged kiddos who went from about 3 weeks missed school due to illness to about 5 days each… and some of those were me being cautious.  My littler still gets sick but she’s only 7 and was a baby during 2020 so I think she is still adjusting her immune system but that’s just my opinion .

However to my dismay the school uniforms could not be purchased in completely natural fibers. Sigh. I decided that was something I would at least at that time go..maybe as I get to know administrators more I’ll suggest the change but one thing at a time. I bought 100% cotton undergarments and decided they would take their uniforms off the moment they got home . School shoes needed to be neutral so I purchased what I could not worrying as much about it because again off when they got home.

I’ve had about a 70% success rate overall getting my kids out of those outfits as soon as they arrived home… but sometimes they were then changing into their polyester gymnastics outfits so at times my effort felt pointless.

We started the year with as perfect as I thought could be water bottles only to have 2 of my 3 children lose them which resulted in us leaving cases of plastic water bottles with their teachers so they would always have water because even when they knew where the bottles were in the morning they would sometimes forget in the car or misplace midway. I decided needing to be hydrated overruled not using plastic for now.

I find myself now going back and forth.  Does it matter…how much does it matter… is the stress worth it? And why is it even stressing me out?

Is it that I want to be two conflicting things? Crunchy and esthetic? Or is it not even that I want to be esthetic but I really want smells good and to not have to think so much and just do “normal”

The fight between natural cleaners and worrying about germs… then worrying using the heavy duty stuff was worse because of super bugs…

Too many rabit holes.

As we approach summer vacation (woo hoo) I find myself again looking at the issue and trying to decide what I want to do… thank you podcast on youtube that got in my head 🙂

While I love my unused bottle of pink cleaner… I’ll likely give it to the animal shelter…and probably throw away the fabric spray that gave me a migraine.

Then it will be time to prioritize.

Priority will be focused into different tiers of importance because let’s be honest… ideal isn’t always functional…and functional must always be priority. Being completely honest functional also will look different depending on what is happening in real life. So finding a system of what to prioritize when is going to be how I balance.

Good better best and is this on going or a set it and forget it (until change naturally occurs)

This also must take into consideration what I have little to no control over at the moment and finding ways to either improve or simply make peace with it…which is honestly an improvement in and of itself.

My all or nothing brain would love nothing more than to flip my entire life into crunchy mode once and for all so I can say see I “picked and sticked ” and called it a day. However that is not realistic.  It would be unrealistic to think that everything could be fixed immediately. 

Items need to be prioritized and then how they are met needs to be planned out. This will be different for different categories.

For example children’s clothing gets repurchased … sometimes often depending on their age. Could I toss out everything that isn’t natural fibers (except their uniforms) and replace it. Sure I could but it also isn’t unrealistic especially for my children that are rapidly going to replace items as they need them or when purchased for gifts special occasions. What is the most responsible for both my budget and my sanity is to replace as we go.  I haven’t found natural versions of everything we wear…bathing suits for example. That’s ok. All is not lost because everything can’t be perfect.

Bedding is very different than clothing…at least on my home. Bedding is not something that is replaced often. Bedding is something that needs to be a planned change.

Cleaning and personal care products are on going. As I have been switching products I started with laundry detergent because that lingers while my shampoo I wash off my body. Laundry detergent has been a struggle finding a more natural one as my family tends to have sensitive skin. Right now I have been prioritizing scent free over perfect after some issues with our new washer and the kind I was buying previously..I do have a bottle of more heavy duty detergent that I bought with the intention of helping any items with lingering odor like fast food uniforms.  That being said I will likely not replace it because now that I am not used to it I find the smell too strong. For personal care items… I’m still working on the balance. Things that stay on have higher priority.

Food is another area to work on.  I am currently not prioritizing organic but moving us to as much of a whole foods only diet as possible.  One of my next goals is replacing some of our purchased snacks with homemade.

How to find the money for changing items is one of the biggest challenges I run into. I am blessed to be in a good place financially however with a big family it can be expensive. Planning these purchases helps a lot.

One way I am planning to do this personally is trying to do a pantry and freezer clean out challenge.

It is almost school vacation. We did more completely off weeks and half day camps vs how we have handled summers prior ( which also frees up some funds). This makes feeding my kids using what I already have in my pantry and freezer easier because we will be home for more of our meals.

If I manage to plan an entire weeks worth of meals from things I already have then I only need to spend money on some fresh produce and dairy. Instead of buying groceries I can use what I have and put what is left from my budget towards say getting new bedding for my family.

I also do things like cut my own hair and cut my kids hair..I do not have an expensive skin care routine. I am intentional about what I do because health is prioritized. 

As someone who wants to do it all at once doing it in stages is hard.  If I won the lottery I would do it all that same day.

Until that happens I am prioritizing greatest impact/ exposure.

We spending about 30% of our time in our beds so nontoxic bedding and the least toxic workable option for washing bedding is prioritized over all of my food being organic.

Clothing will be purchased as non toxic as possible depending on the item while new towels can wait a little longer.

Not much right now I can do about school uniforms, but I can prioritize under shirts / camis and underwear that are cotton. Socks I havent found ones I love yet but we will experiment. Their shoes I can spend some time over the summer finding the least toxic options that work for their dress codes and have “home shoes” that match exactly what I’m looking for because I’m not limited to color style etc.

My children are also prioritized first. I know the whole put your oxygen mask on first thing has points, but in my opinion they are going and therefore reducing exposure now gives them the opportunity to grow up without accumulating more toxins in their bodies than needed. I grew up very differently. While I can prioritize lowering my exposure I am not a growing child so I am replacing and upgrading their items first.

I think one important realization is that it does not actually need to be crunchy or pretty. You can achieve both. Crunchy will just take a little more thought until I get the hang of it.