Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house not a creature was stirring not even a mouse…

Except me….I was stirring. I couldn’t sleep. My mind was racing.

Christmas of 2019 was so hard. For so many reasons. I was hoping back then that it would get easier. Then 2020 happened. A year that started out with so much hope and promise turned into a year of fear and isolation.

I have been in many ways been grateful for the extra time with my children, but I feel so guilty about all that’s been taken from them.

That’s what was keeping me up. Were they ok? Were we doing enough? Should we be doing more? Numbers are rising, new strains… how can we protect their health… how can we protect their mental health… it spun and spun and spun.

Fortunately at some point exhaustion won and I fell asleep. Only to wake with the same thoughts.

I finally was able to reassure myself that whether we were doing enough or not enough… we were doing the best we could with what we had. I never expected to be parenting during a pandemic and was not prepared for it… no one was. This is new uncharted waters for everyone.

Christmas 2020 did teach me something very important. Children are incredibly resilient. They seem to have embraced their new normal, and maybe instead of worrying so much I should aim to be doing the same.