I will overcome.

This is my new battle cry.

Sometimes I am pretty sure this life is trying to kill me.

Days like today, I feel like it is all I can do to keep my head above water.

I am living my dream and my nightmare at the same time, and I feel like I bounce between joy and sorrow, between I’ve got this and someone please help me.

I am fighting so many battles. Battles for myself. Battles against myself. Battles for my children. Battles for my marriage. Sometimes the battle begins as I open my eyes and face the day will too little sleep with too little rest headed my way.

I will overcome.

I start many days feeling like I am already behind. I start many days feeling confident that I’ll manage it all. Some days I am not sure where I stand.

I am somehow doing so much, and yet it seems like it is never ever enough.

But I will overcome.

I hurt. Sometimes physically sometimes emotionally. I entire world seemed to come crashing down just six months ago. I am adjusting. Some days better than others. My children’s world completely shifted, but they have been surrounded by and lifted up by those around them. Some days they hurt, but I will help them heal, and will do my best to give them childhoods that they do not have to recover from.

I seem to battle myself constantly. Tough love was all I have ever known. I will learn to be a little kinder to myself. I will learn that even if I show up to the battle with a limp and mismatching socks that I am strong enough to stand and face whatever has come my way.

Why? Because what has happened to me should have broken me. Life has taken a few hard lefts on me, but everytime I have sat back up and adjusted myself. I will lesen to look at all I can do rather than what I have not yet managed to do. My worth is more than those who left me and the things that I have not yet mastered.

I cannot wait to someday tell the tale of how I was able to overcome. Today I am not there yet, but my armor is on and I am ready to face the day and whatever life decides to throw my way.

I will overcome.