It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to say I’m sorry right now I can’t.

I say no a lot. I am always up for fun with family and friends, however I’m rarely up to spending money. Don’t get me wrong, I do spend money however I am trying to be more and more mindful of what I am spending my money on.

I am home with four kids… yes I am aware that is a lot of kids. My husband has a good job however the last few years have been tough. We moved, had two job lay offs, have gone from two kids to four. We had a sick dog we spent a lot of money trying to help.

Fortunately we had practiced being good with money when we decided back in 2013 we wanted to move to a more expensive part of the state. Howevery, even while trying to be good with money life is expensive and we have found our savings draining and the debt adding up, something that is completely the opposite of our values.

So we are saying no, and that’s ok. No to dance lessons and soccer. No to an expensive after school club that the libtary in the town over offers for free. No to the playplace that’s membership costs more than twice as much as the one that’s 10 minutes further away. No to subscription boxes that are really fun. I actually just canceled my Ispy bag… that one actually hurt a little. I have been doing for about a year, only $10 a month was reasonable for a nice little treat. Recently I saw they were raising their price to $12 a month… only $2 more but that is a 20% increase. Suddenly it didn’t seem like such as good deal. For as year I could have locked in my rate, but I would have had to prepay for the whole year. Funny how $10 doesn’t seem bad but $120 was too much… although at the end of the day it would cost the same.

For a long time I felt funny saying no, canceling things. It felt bad, it wasn’t fun. I wondered why others could and I couldn’t . However I realized a very important thing, it wasn’t that I couldn’t do these things, I could have aways pulled out the credit card, it was that I was choosing not to. I follow Dave Ramsey and I love how he says Live like no one else so that later you can live and give like no one else. I am willing to sacrifice, I am willing to say no. I am learning to say no without feeling like I need to make excuses. I am learning it’s perfectly acceptable to simply say no I can’t right now but thank you anyway. I have stopped worrying if saying no costs me friendships, because no real friend would leave because I would rather use my zoo membership than pay for the arcade.

I have also learned there is a world of fun waiting to be had that will not deplete my bank account. There are zoo memberships and indoor play places that offer reasonable memberships. There are parks with splash pads, and there are potluck dinners in the backyard with friends that taste even better than a fancy mea at a restaurant with no tipping required.