To my body,

I am sorry. I’m sorry for the unrealistic expectations that I have had for you. I am sorry for not loving you or caring for you as I should. For measuring your worth in pant sizes instead of accomplishment.

I seem to forget all that we have been through. We are no longer 16 years old. Gone are the days that junk food and no sleep can keep us going. You require adequate sleep and good food, I’m sorry for expecting a cup of coffee to make up for what you really need. I’m sorry for feeling frustrated with you for not always being able to keep up.

I’m sorry for being so impatient with you. For making one small change to how I treat you and seem to expect that you will bounce back from years of neglect overnight. I’m sorry for forgetting that you need to be cared for as much as anyone else. I’m sorry for never putting on your oxygen mask.

I’m sorry for feeling frustrated that you have changed over the years. How is it possible that when I look at you at times I see stretch marks and lose skin instead of seeing the remarkable place that my babies grew? I’m sorry for grumbling about needing a more supportive top instead if thanking you for nourishing hungry babies. I’m sorry for the comments about looking tired, showing our age. How do I not see all that you have done and continue to do?

Thank you for being so forgiving. For chosing to wake up everyday ready to take on the world. Thank you for being strong enough to handle all this life has thrown at us. Thank you for the opportunity to try to get this right. Thank you for always recovering even without given the time to do so. Thank you for allowing me to be present with this family that I love so much.

I promise to do better, to treat you kinder. I can’t promise that I will not slip up from time to time, but I can promise that I will make peace with you.