Quiet time makes me a better mother… I feel funny saying these words out loud but they also feel very freeing. I pride myself on trying to always be the best mother I can be. Some days I do a really good job, and some days because at my core I am a human I go to bed feeling regret about the things I could have done better. I take my job as a mother so seriously I spend time “coaching” myself on my job performance. I feel like I give myself a weekly, if not daily review. While this might seem ridiculous it really helps me keep things in perspective. To not get hung up on what I’ve done right and what I could have done better, but to look at things from more of an objective standpoint, and figure out what I could do to be better next time.

My own personal review stems from the fact that I am always looking for ways to improve and grow as a person. Just look at my own personal collection of books and things that I have borrowed from the library. It may appear to someone who didn’t know me that I am desperately searching for answers. While that is one way to look at it, after all I am always looking for answers to life’s many questions, I prefer to look at it a different way. I view it as self maintenance. You should change your cars oil before it breaks down, everyone knows this (although we all know that not everyone practices this). I feel strongly about changing my own oil to prevent my own version of a car breaking down from lack of  care and maintenance. Part of my own personal review is to evaluate the areas that I may be lacking, and the things that I just want to know more about. I ask myself some serious questions. How has my patience been lately? Am I happy and outgoing, or have I fallen into a rut? How has my spending been? Am I looking for happiness in objects instead of in my own personal life? What can I do better? The answers to these questions lead me to want to find the answers. Some answers are obvious, like not getting enough sleep or not eating well will not make me the most outgoing happy mother I can be. Some answers are a little deeper than that.  The questions that need more complex answers cause me to seek out information from other sources. I have read or listened to books on personal finance, self-care, care for others, being frugal, how to communicate with others, how to cook, how to care for your home, etc. While these books have not given me all the answers, after all no one has all the answers, they have been helpful in giving me some insight into my own life.

Self reflection is another important, and probably the most useful tool I use when given myself a review. This morning for example I was starting to feel a little behind and it was only 10am. I took a moment to sit down and reflect on my day. I came to the realization that I had neglected two very important things. I had not had anything except my morning coffee even though I had feed my children breakfast. I also had not had my morning quiet. Typically during the week I have a small period of quiet from the time my oldest gets on the bus until my toddler wakes up. Because the opportunity to sleep in happened I took advantage of it. While it felt good at the time I did myself a disservice in the long run. I missed my window of quiet which I now realize makes me a better mother. It’s a quiet time to sit and sip my coffee without interruption. It fuels my soul and because I added to my own cup I am better able to serve others. The saying you can’t pour from an empty cup exists for a reason. My window of quiet, even if it’s only 15 minutes is essential to my well being. My personal review this morning allowed me to take a step back and see the bigger picture. It allowed me to correct course. When the baby went down for his morning nap I allowed myself to sit quietly. I already feel restored.

If you are not in the habit of doing a personal self review every once and awhile I urge you to give it a try. To be honest with yourself about how you are doing in all areas of your life. For any areas you feel you are lacking make an action plan for yourself, try to be objective. Figure out where you are, where you want to be, and then the steps you need to take to get to your desired end result. You will learn a lot about yourself and your own needs in the process. I am sure you will be glad you did.