I am currently sitting in the waiting room of my littlest loves therapy office..eating one of the worst meals I’ve ever prepped myself.

It was 10am and I had barely managed to drink my coffee. I am thankful recent illness turned me into an iced coffee only kinda girl because it’s easier to keep my coffee cold than it is hot.

I knew we’d be going to the therapy office for an hour and since I don’t participate very much in his speech I would have time to eat before OT if I even participated at all .

I’m trying to learn to like cottage cheese. I’m not sure why as soon I will be on a diet that does not include it…but until I’m there I figured I’d give it a shot. Not sure how people make themselves love it so much because I am not as sure. I knew my cottage cheese container only contained a single serving and had enough room to toss some fruit in. I went wrong by tossing totally frozen ( and slightly freezer burned) .

As I sit here with my less than desirable meal I am trying to be thankful that I have food and that while so many in my state are still without power we have ours back and didn’t lose all our groceries.

I’m trying to take the advice of a book I’ve been listening to about paying attention to your frustration because it’s trying to tell you something.

My current frustrations seem to stem from feeling like I can’t figure it out.

My toddler is easy to care for… it’s doing anything else while caring for him that seems to be my struggle.

I’m trying to use my frustration as fuel for a plan. I never want to be frustrated with his sweet face because of something that isn’t his problem.

My answer came to me this morning.

Be prepared.

I love being prepared and I honestly do a decent job with it.

But being prepared for my own care and will being is not something that I am doing well with.

My basic list of things to add to my list are picking out my clothes ahead of time… picking out a second outfit for when I end up covered in something like water ( he loves to randomly spit his water at me). Having food made and ready whether it be just some prepped snacks or something I can toss in the oven when ready. 

Hurricane 🌀 season is coming to an end and when it does I will be making freezer meals for less dinner time panic.

I’m trying to find things that will actually keep my little one busy for a moment. I’m learning with him in his OT what can help him be calm. I am also trying to address my own anxiety because I know I am adding to the problem.

I’m trying to let go a little. I’m trying to realize my experience is going a little different than planned and while I can’t predict the future I am letting go of my expectations and embracing as best I can what is.

I am also trying to be more aware of my own limitations. I am navigating a different experience while trying to navigate my own health struggles and challenges and I’m allowing myself to acknowledge that this is hard.

I’m also embracing as much as I like “meals” sometimes…like now with my cottage cheese whoops… that sometimes food with not have the pleasure factor with it and it’s only purpose to to fuel me and keep away the hangry monster.