I’m giving up sugar 

I may be picking the worst time of year for this ( or maybe the best) but I’m giving up adding sugar to my body.

At first I said 30 days…. But I have done this cycle too many times. It is time to give it up as a regular part of my diet for good. 

I struggled with my blood sugar during my pregnancy.   After I failed my 1 hour glucose test I opted for monitoring instead of taking the 3 hour test. I went into this fairly ignorant since I have ALWAYS been able to control my numbers through my diet. This time I was not as lucky. While I made it through the pregnancy never on medication I did struggle with my fasting numbers… the ones that are the least in your control. It was a sign to me of problems I could expect later on. 

Sure enough my last labs could have been better. I’ve always hung out at the upper end of normal but I finally crossed over  into what would be considered pre-diabetes range .

I’m nursing my littlest one so while I know what dietary changes I could make to immediately drop my numbers I am hesitant to make drastic changes that could effect my milk supply. 

I think in my current stage of life slow and steady is the way to go and I will work my way towards what I think will provide my optimal health. It will also help me to understand what my body can handle as I go versus removing everything and hoping for the best reintroducing things.

I have 5 kids and my life is crazy at times…. So I will not be a purest about this and worry about things like the added sugar in things like peanut butter or Jarred tomato sauce….mostly because I do not eat much of it anyway . My beloved hot chocolate packet will be on the chopping block as well as anything that is obviously a sugar bomb. This means the more obvious things like sweets and baked goods but also the more sneaky foods that I consider sugar bombs pretending to be good food . I will eventually get more strict as I go…but I worry if I make this too difficult for myself during a season of life that is beautiful but a lot of work …. That I will be more likely to fail and then give up.  I am not aiming for a quick fix then going back to what clearly doesn’t work….I am looking for something long term and sustainable. My nature is very much go big or go home… but I’m going to try instead for sustainable vs fast.  

I am fully aware my health is not suffering only due to my sugar intake ( although I’m sure it does not help) . I’m taking on the sugar first because my addiction to sugar is my gateway to other poor choices. It has power over me and is the one thing I hate giving up…. So I’m tackling it first.

Oh I forgot to add I will not be adding in a sweetener.  Every time I’ve done this my nursing babies where eating real food and occasionally nursing so I didn’t stress about using some sweetners while nursing. My little man is only 8 months old…and while he LOVES food…it’s still only part of his diet not the main diet. So I’m going no sugar no sweenter. Will my morning coffee suck…you bet it will! But will this be a good chance to reset my taste buds.. yes yes it will. 

I am phasing myself into this over the next few weeks.  Next week my focus will be on everything except my morning coffee.  No soda if I pick up dinner…. No orange juice if I go out to breakfast…. No iced coffee …. No ice cream…. But my beloved hot chocolate packets will tempt me until they are gone.  I will use them up them up and then bid them farewell….I just counted there are 18 packets left. I’m not sure honestly if I’m going to use them through the next almost 3 weeks or if I’m going to just cut the cord and drop them… for now I’m going to just give myself the grace to use them until they are gone with the promise to myself once they are gone they are gone. 

My plan is to document this.  I am going to get my measurements ( thank you one day Amazon shipping since I lost my tape measure), my weight ( obviously), but also how I’m feeling both physically and mentally.  I feel like trash.  My physical body and my mind are suffering incredibly at the moment. I also want to share as I go.  As afraid as I am to say my weight out loud and my mental health symptoms out loud I think it is important for me to be able to face them head on.  By trying to keep it a secret I am giving it a power me. I have felt an incredible amount of shame for so long…. And as a result have suffered incredibly. 

I have finally reached a point where I am more afraid of how I feel than I am any judgement from sharing just how bad it is.

My goal is to start Tuesday.  Everyone always wants to start on a Monday…Mondays are hard enough as it is. I’m also alone all weekend with 5 kids…showering is going to be hard enough never mind making dietary changes that may make me feel withdrawal. 

I’m not looking forward to how I know I am going to feel…. But the time will pass regardless…. And every day that goes by will bring me closer to feeling good…. And that’s worth the effort.