The night before fourth grade has come.  The summer went by so fast.  The last ten years have gone by so fast.  How did we get here? Ten years ago I was preparing for you’re arrival.  I was myself preparing for my upcoming semester wondering how I was going to get through. It’s funny how ten years later I’m doing the same thing now.  The busy season is starting. Early mornings,  lunches to be packed, shoes to be found.  Schedules, and homework to be done.  Activities starting, boy Scouts filing up the calendar.  Forth grade brings new and exciting things into your day.  With the start of band, plus a toddler and a baby at home I’m guaranteed to never have a quiet moment again.  Back to the season if every second feeling planned out. How I’ll miss the lazy days of summer.  While we were always busy doing something, there was a different feel to the summer. While you see so many jokes about this being the happiest time of year for parents I feel differently.  Even though we no longer spend our time cuddled on the couch , I enjoy your presence.  You talk endlessly about Minecraft and pokémon,  and humor the fact that despite my trying I never have managed to figure out what you ate talking about.  I keep listening because I want you to keep talking. While it may only be about simple things now,  I pray that you talk this much when it comes to the hard things in life too.

How did we get here so fast? I’m still in denial that I bought you a shirt from the men’s department.  And that I did your school shopping without you,  because you were so busy off doing other things.  The teenage years are just around the corner. We are adjusting to you being around less and less. I hope for your sisters sake your baby brother helps fill the void she feels when you are away,  as that’s something we all are going to have to get used to more and more.  

Can we just slow down? You are barely ten and you can almost look me in the eyes.  Will I even still be taller than you by the end of the year? Where did the last ten years of my life go? No saying could be more true than the one that says the days are long but the years are short.  Now you are trying to teach me to play Minecraft and before I know it I’ll be teaching you to drive. 

Let’s not rush this next phase. I know the next ten years are going to go by even faster then the first. You are already talking about being 18, and being grown up.  Enjoy this.  You may not realize it, but these are the best days.  Growing up is hard.  There are bills to be paid, and endless responsibilities . Enjoy that your biggest problems are boom reports and someone destroying your house in Minecraft. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything,  but speaking as someone who traded in carefree days for sleepless nights earlier than planned,  enjoy these carefree moments.  Slow down a little. 

Tomorrow when the bus comes at 7:33am you’ll officially be a fourth grader. I’ll pack your lunch, no longer with a sweet little note out of fear of embarrassing you,  but a fortune cookie so that you know I am thinking of you. You’ll get on the bus most likely barely even saying goodbye.  I’m not worried for you.  You can handle this.  You seem to rise to every occasion.  I’m just not so sure how ready I am for this. What mother is? But like so many I’ll pull it together,  smile and wave, and hold my breath as the bus pulls away.  

How is it the night before fourth grade?